A pesar de la discriminación que sufrió su hijo, la madre le escribió a los padres del compañero para concientizar acerca de la importancia de la inclusión.

Una madre cuyo hijo con síndrome de Down fue excluido de una fiesta de cumpleaños escribió una carta abierta en su cuenta de Facebook para llamar la atención de otros padres con el objetivo de que no discriminen a otros chicos por el hecho de tener capacidades diferentes.

Jennifer Kiss-Engele, de Canadá, acudió a la red social para escribir sobre la situación que vivió cuando un padre de la escuela de su hijo Sawyer decidió no invitarlo a la fiesta de cumpleaños.

La carta destaca que fue una decisión intencional y que invitó a toda la clase del hijo excepto a él. “Sé que no fue porque mi hijo es malo, nunca conocerás a un chico tan feliz. Sé que no fue porque él no es divertido, tiene muy buen sentido del humor y una risa contagiosa. También sé que no fue porque tu hijo no se lleva bien con el mío. Mi hijo habló del tuyo muchas veces”. Y agrega: “La única razón por la que no lo invitaste es porque tiene síndrome de Down”.

An open letter to the parent that thought it was OK to invite the entire class to their child’s birthday except for my son….sharing this because I think it’s a valuable lesson for all and I’m trying to educate & advocate more. ❤️

Hi there,
I know we don’t know each other well but my son Sawyer and your child are in the same class. I understand that your child recently delivered birthday invitations to the entire class except to Sawyer, who was not invited. I also understand that this was not an oversight on your part, that it was an intentional decision to not to include my son.

I want you to know that we don’t have an expectation of being invited to every birthday party. In fact, when Sawyer celebrated his birthday last year we only invited a few close friends as we wanted to keep it small, since it was over the Christmas break. But in your case, this is not the same reason. In fact, you have invited all 22 other children from the class except for my son. I know it’s not because he’s mean, you couldn’t meet a happier child. I know it’s not because he’s not fun, he has a great sense of humour and an infectious laugh. I know it’s not because your child and him don’t get along, he’s brought up your child’s name on several occasions. The only reason why you decided it was OK to not invite my son to your child’s birthday party is because he has Down Syndrome.

I am sorry that you are not informed, maybe scared, or uncertain about what it means to have Down Syndrome. I know if you knew more about Down Syndrome you wouldn’t have made this decision. I am not mad at you. Rather, I think this is an opportunity for you to get to know my son better. You see, having Down Syndrome doesn’t mean that you don’t want to have friends. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have feelings. It doesn’t mean you don’t like to go to birthday parties. People with Down Syndrome want the same things that you and I want. They want to have close relationships, they want to feel love, they want to contribute, they want to have meaningful lives, and they want to go to birthday parties. It may be more difficult at times to understand my child. But the laughter and love that you share doesn’t need interpretation.

I want you to know that I was also like you. I was scared, uncertain and misinformed about Down Syndrome before having my son. I was so worried that my other children wouldn’t be able to connect with him in the same way as other siblings do. But I was wrong. In fact, my children are closer than most other siblings are. Having a brother with Down Syndrome has helped shape them into compassionate individuals who know that just because you may be a little different that others, that it’s OK. They are not afraid to help when they see someone struggling. And they are not afraid to approach someone they might not fully understand. In return they have received so much love and joy from having their brother as their best friend.

Maybe you are struggling with the words to say to your child because your child did not want my son at their birthday party. Maybe you let your child decide that it was OK to single someone out. I know it can be difficult to teach our children about something we may not understand ourselves. I struggle with this as well. But this is a great opportunity and life lesson to have with your child. They will remember the time that their parent said to them, it’s not OK to leave someone out because of their disability, race, or gender. I know you want the same things for your child that I want for mine. As parents, we want our children to be liked, to have friends, and to not be left behind. And how we do this is by setting examples ourselves and encouraging them to make choices that they might not be old enough to fully comprehend. But they will look back one day with understanding and the knowledge that you have shared with them. I am certain, that with a little encouragement, your child can develop a true friendship with my son that will leave a permanent, positive impression on them for the rest of their life.

It’s only until this happened that I realized myself that Sawyer hasn’t been invited to hardly anyone’s birthday party this past year. The kids are getting to that age where they often only invite a few children to their parties and he hasn’t made the cut. Other parents I know that have children with Down Syndrome have often started the school year by educating the class and I haven’t done that. He’s always just been Sawyer to me and I haven’t felt the need to talk about Down Syndrome to his class until this moment. I realize now that I have let him down. I have let a year slip away where I could have done more to educate families. Perhaps then we wouldn’t be in this situation. I realize that it’s my obligation as his parent and advocate to educate people more about what it means to have Down Syndrome and how they are more like you than different. I now know how important it is to talk about it and it’s something I am committed to doing a better job of.

Please know that I am here to talk if you would like. I may be a mama bear but I am not a scary person. I recognize that we all make mistakes and at the end of the day, I think we both could have done better.

Thank you,
Jennifer (Sawyer’s Mom)

#downsyndrome

UPDATED:
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and for sharing your own stories. I’m trying to read them all.

I want you to know that there is a happy ending to this story. The parent read my letter, spoke to their child about Sawyer, and the child created a special birthday invite for Sawyer. Of course he’s been beaming ever since and can’t stop talking about it.

I’m really proud that my letter has reached so many people because it’s not just this birthday party and its not just Sawyer. There are so many kids with special needs (and without of course) that just don’t make the cut. I think as parents we all need to do a better job of fostering these relationships, myself included.

I hope that parents who read this will help open that dialogue with their own child and perhaps make that one ‘extra’ invitation.

Thank you ❤️

En vez de mostrarse furiosa, la madre dice que se siente apenada de que otros padres no estén informados y quiere aprovechar la oportunidad para enseñarles sobre qué significa. “Tener síndrome de Down no implica que no quieras o no puedas tener amigos. Tampoco que no tengas sentimientos ni quieras ir a fiestas de cumpleaños”, relata Jennifer. “Las personas con síndrome de Down quieren lo mismo que vos y yo. Quieren tener relaciones cercanas, sentir el amor, ayudar, tener vidas significativas y definitivamente, también quieren ir a fiestas de cumpleaños”:

La madre alienta a los padres a hablar con sus hijos y enseñarles que no está bien discriminar a alguien por su discapacidad, raza o género.

El posteo, que tiene más de 8000 “Me gusta”, termina así: “Por favor sepan que estoy acá para conversar si están dispuestos a hacerlos. Puedo ser una mamá protectora, pero no me tengan miedo. Reconozco que todos cometemos errores y todos podemos hacer las cosas mejor”.

Luego del posteo, los padres del nene lo leyeron y armaron una invitación especial para Sawyer. En la actualización del posteo, la madre escribió: “Desde que fue invitado está radiante y no para de hablar de eso”.

Fuente: lanacion